A Day Gone Wrong for Dr Phil
by PropetryOfDracoMalfoy
Summary: Dr. Phil, the man who has helped many people. What kind of chaos will come his way during a bad day? first fanfic. oneshot.


It had been a long day for Dr. Phil. He had to film a new episode about another mother meeting her daughter after 20 years with the daughter just rolling her eyes as her mother teared up.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Dr. Phil had said that very day. He was growing impatient with whoever chose what they will be featuring on his show. "Didn't we already do this _same_ scenario, like, a million times already? I could swear this '_daughter_'," he said, using air quotes, "was already on the show a few months ago!"

"Uh, uh ... " the daughter stuttered. "No ... you ... haven't?"

"There you have it," said the irritating man with the clipboard, sunglasses (inside the studio), and a coffee mug that Phil was arguing with since season two. "She says she wasn't on the show before, so I choose to believe her."

"Oh whatever!" Phil cried out, his face getting redder and redder by the second. "And when we're done believing her, we can all have some coffee and watch South Park! In fact, with this show being as ridiculous as it is, that should be in our new episode!" Everyone looked at Dr. Phil as though he has lost his mind which, in fact, he had. "Oh, I could just see it now!" he went on, looking everyone on set one at a time. "'Dr. Phil Acquires Taste for Adult Cartoons'! Now wouldn't that be just _dandy_?!"

The room fell silent. The cameramen were getting it all on tape. The mother and daughter were staring at him, mouth ajar. The live audience was looking around, wondering if he would notice one of them getting up to go to the bathroom.

"I mean, what is this world coming to?" he cried out, breaking the uneasy silence. He was up on his feet, walking around, talking to no one in particular. "Did you see our new episode last month?! A 200 pound toddler! Even the innocent are getting more and more pathetic with each growing day!" His face was now the color of ketchup when it has been opened for the first time. "Even my wife! You know what she asked me to do the other weekend?" he asked, this time looking to the audience for an answer. They just shook their heads. "SHE ASKED ME TO SHAVE OFF MY MOUSTACHE! _My moustache_! Can you believe her?!"

By now the entire room was contemplating if he was being serious, or just playing an early April Fool's prank on them. They hoped that this was just his way of being funny.

"Um, Doctor, sir," the man with the clipboard said cautiously, "Do you plan on filming this bit, or are we going to have to do it tomorrow?"

The Doctor turned his head slowly to face the man. His already red face began to turn from bright red to red-violet to maroon. Fear shot through the clipboard man's body as he scolded himself for asking him anything while he was in this obviously aggravated mood.

"Tomorrow?" Phil said, somewhat calmly, with his eyes wide and sparkling. "Tomorrow? _Tomorrow?_ TOMORROW?!" he bellowed out, louder than he had ever yelled before. He grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt, bringing him higher and higher until they were at eye-level.

"Well I guess that if I succeed and kill you right now, there won't be a tomorrow for you, will there?" he hissed.

Silence.

"WILL THERE?!?"

The terrified audience, frozen in their seats, shook their head rapidly.

Right then, to everyone's surprise, in stormed a mad-looking woman through the door that read "Exit" in big, red letters. She was old, maybe in her seventies. She wore a shirt with Mickey Mouse on it and said "Disney World: Where Dreams Come True." Her sweat pants were bright blue and came up a little too short. Her gray and white hair was in hot pink curlers and on her feet were fuzzy-looking slippers. She marched strait up to Phil without the least bit of fear.

"And what do _we_ think _we're_ doing?" she spat out at Phil. He looked at her, at first menacingly and then fearfully.

"Mommy?" he asked, his voice high and squeaky. His bottom lip quivered as he stared at her with his glassy eyes. He dropped the man carelessly. His mom nodded with her hands resting on her hips and her lips pursed.

Everyone but them gasped. "See, I told you this was worth it," said a random person in the audience.

"Now you've been a very bad boy, Phily-poo. You're coming home right this instant," she said, waving her finger at the trembling doctor. "And no South Park for a month!"

"Noooooo!" Phil cried desperately. Whatever will I do without that hilarious adult comedy?!"

"You'll figure out something," she said and began to drag him by his ear back toward the exit. "Oh, and Phily-poo? Your wife is right. You need to shave off that moustache."

"You two are forming a conspiracy ... I know it!" he yelled as they approached the exit. "No, you can't do this to me, Mother! NOOOOOO!" The sounds of his screams became faint as the door shut behind him and his devoted mother.


End file.
